What If My Ex Is “Bad Mouthing” Me To Our Child After We Broke Up?

This is a tragedy on many levels. As a New Jersey Divorce Attorney, I take great pride in protecting the best interests of children. When parents explain to me that the other spouse is trying to turn their child against them, they are often concerned that, “no one will know the truth!” I then explain that New Jersey custody experts have the knowledge, experience and savvy to get to the bottom of such matters. I recall a case I handled a few years back that shall demonstrate how this New Jersey Family Lawyer gets to the truth.

I was court ordered by a Family Judge of the Superior Court of New Jersey to act as a Guardian Ad Litem in a divorce case involving a custody dispute. Both parents were making terrible accusations against the other claiming child neglect and even abuse. My job, as the Guardian Ad Litem is to work for the court on behalf of the child.

To make this important decision, I have a routine that I follow. I first go to each parents home. Usually, they are “spic and span” as they know why I am coming. Next, I then have each parent bring the child to my office. One time I meet with both the parent and the child and then another meeting in which I have each parent bring the child to my office but have the parent wait outside and chat alone with the child (with a witness, who is sworn to secrecy).

Usually by that point of my investigation, I have made my decision. However in this particular case, something was still bothering me. So I decided one more meeting with each parent and the child.

When I met with the mother and the child, this beautiful 7 year old little girl was well behaved but after a while became a little fidgety. Of course, this is normal behavior for this age. She said she loved both her mommy and daddy. However, a few days later, the father and child sat in my office. This child then spoke like a robot. “My mommy is bad. My daddy is good. I want to live with my daddy.” Clearly, the child had been coached by her father. Then, the clincher. When I asked the little girl where she was going next, she cheerfully replied, “Toys R Us!” Obviously, the father was bribing his own daughter to say and act as he had instructed her to. Needless to say, my recommendation to the Court was residential custody to the mother.

The moral of the story is that New Jersey Child Custody Attorneys and experts know how to find the truth. If you find yourself in the same situation as the mother in this case, please do not despair. Instead, please call my office immediately so we may discuss how to protect your child as well as your best interests.